I didn’t even plan it.
We were hanging out at the mall. I think we’d gone to see a movie. As we walked out, descending the lifts, bright lights, gleaming glass and a crowd of strangers surrounding us, she said something that was so cute it melted my heart.
In my head, I was like, this is so great. And because I, just like she, liked to see myself as a spontaneous lover, I thought… hey, why the heck not! So I turned to her as the elevator doors opened and said, “I’m gonna get you a ring!”
We’d been dating for a while and, at that age, getting married was always on the cards. So it wasn’t so strange that I would come from the blue and totally just get her a ring and slide it on her finger right there.
She said yes.
I agree with you: it was one of the most unromantic proposals of all time.
But here’s the question: how was your own proposal?
Most of them go like this: ‘You’re the best human I’ve ever met. You make me so happy. I can’t imagine living another minute without you because you totally complete me. So, you This Person of This Surname, will you marry me and live with me forever?”
But that’s selfish. We all propose for selfish reasons. Look at the videos and Instagram posts. It’s all the same words.
Words that got me thinking. What if people thought better about their marriage proposals? What if it was less about me and more about us? What if it’s more about what I could do for you and less about what I could take from you?
Of course, for anyone to care deeply and selflessly about another person, he must first be filled with himself. He’s got to first love himself.
Which is why now, I’d like to get down on one knee. I’d like to rewrite my marriage proposal like this:
Baby, you’re the best human I’ve ever laid my eyes on. You bring so much joy into my life, it’s unbelievable. Everything you are is what the world needs. Let me be a part of your journey so I can make you happy, too. I want to spend the rest of my life by your side so that every time you look around, you’re reminded that the universe has rewarded the beauty of your heart with someone devoted to bringing a little sunshine into your day every day. So, you This Person of This Surname… will you marry me?
I’m just trying to say, perhaps life will be more enjoyable for friends and lovers if it’s less of me and more of you.